name is Doug Jones, but we all call him Dougie,
(Mr. Jones is too formal for a man who's so huggie)
He's tall and he's lean, blessed with flexible bones,
He's the master behind monster-y hisses and moans,
Need a zombie-like shuffle or slow prance of a faun?
Then Dougie's the go-to, the man to call on,
He can soar on a surfboard, gleam silver and pure,
He makes watching a mime something fun to endure.
Dougie dances with grace and he so sweetly sings,
He's the Angel of Death with Hell's eyes on her wings,
Creatures fearsome, ferocious, wickedly cruel,
Then gentle Abe Sapien …so exquisite, we drool.
Should a hidden performance transfix you with awe,
It was likely Doug Jones behind latex you saw,
Whether Fish-man or Pale Man or thing with bug eyes
Doug Jones is the heart of his every disguise.
(To the tune of "My Guy")
you can say
Can tear me away
Nothing I can do
Stuck like latex glue
swimming in the Tank
So I'm jumping in the water
He may be cold-blooded
But there's nobody hotter
He's got the kindest heart
His brain is really smart
muscle bound man
Has the psychic hand
No human face
Could ever take the place
may be an amphibian
But where it counts
Abe's all man!
He's so glossy blue
His soul's pure and true
OF THE SEA
Oh the wonderful
thing about Abes,
Are Abes are wonderful things.
They're dressed up in black rubber,
And blue as the sky in spring.
They're smart and
sweet, a real treat,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Abe
Is he's the only one!
Heeeeeee's the only one!
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